Dad had a stroke less than a week before he died.
Mum rang me at Millbrook. She said the ambulance had taken him to hospital and Peter was on his way. Her voice was steady because she was giving information. I wrote down what she said, though none of it needed writing down.
Alan collected me. We drove to Portsmouth.
Dad was very ill. He was awake at times, but speaking was difficult and he tired quickly. The staff explained what they knew and what they were watching. Mum asked the same questions in different forms. Peter asked about the next twenty-four hours. I asked whether Dad knew we were there.
A nurse said she believed he did.
We visited each day. Mum went home at night because Peter and I insisted, then returned early the next morning. She brought a bag containing things Dad did not use. A comb. His glasses. A book he was not able to read.
I took leave from work. Janet said to stay away as long as necessary. I told her I would ring the next day.
Dad had always dealt with illness by waiting for it to pass. After his heart attack in 1996, he followed the instructions he agreed with and treated the rest as suggestions. This time, he was too ill to do that.
On one visit, I told him that Millbrook’s entrance buzzer had failed again. It was the sort of thing I would normally have mentioned because he would ask how it was wired.
He moved his hand against the sheet. I do not know whether he was answering me.
Dad died on Tuesday 19 February.
Mum was with him. Peter and I arrived soon afterwards. Alan waited outside the room until I asked him to come in.
The next few days were made up of telephone calls, forms and decisions. Mum wanted the funeral arranged properly and did not want anybody taking over. Peter handled the first calls. I wrote down names and times.
People asked what they could do. I gave some of them jobs because that was easier than answering anything else.
When I rang Millbrook, Janet answered.
I said Dad had died and I would not be in for the rest of the week.
She said, ‘Of course.’
I told her I would ring on Monday. Then I went back to Mum.