By April 2020, family visits had become video calls.
The first national lockdown had begun in March. Millbrook was open for a small number of children, and I did part of my administration work from home. Alan had stopped his occasional call-out work. We were together in the bungalow for more hours than either of us had previously tested.
Claire arranged the first family call. She sent a link and instructions. I opened the link on my phone and saw my own face from below.
Alan said, ‘That can’t be right.’
‘It’s a camera, not a verdict.’
Claire rang separately and talked me through it.
When we joined, Ruby was speaking, Elliot was moving in and out of view and Simon was trying to improve the sound. Michael appeared from another room and asked whether we could hear him.
Everybody answered at once.
Alan sat too far from the phone, so only part of him appeared. When he moved closer, his forehead took over the screen.
‘That’s worse,’ Claire said.
‘I can see all of you.’
‘We can see an eyebrow.’
The calls became regular. We spoke to Claire and the children, then Michael, sometimes separately and sometimes together. Ruby showed us schoolwork. Elliot brought objects to the camera and expected us to identify them before he moved them away.
We learnt to wait for the slight delay before speaking. Alan did not always wait. He and Michael could spend several minutes saying, ‘Go on,’ to each other.
The calls were useful. We could see that everybody was all right, or at least present and dressed. We could watch Ruby read and hear Elliot describe a game. Claire could tell whether we were following the rules without asking directly.
They were also tiring. A normal family visit allowed two conversations at once and gave people somewhere else to look. On screen, nobody knew who should speak after a pause.
After each call, Alan and I compared what we had heard.
‘Did Michael say work was quiet or all right?’
‘Both.’
‘What did Claire say about the shopping?’
‘That she had it under control.’
This was Claire’s answer to most things.
We missed holding the children and having them move through the bungalow without appearing in separate boxes. The calls did not replace that. They gave us a way to keep seeing each other until visits were possible again.
Alan became better at positioning the phone. He never became interested in checking the camera before answering.